


You can't pick your family...

by millygal



Series: Fandom Character Meme [1]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:50:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy wishes the ground would open up and swallow her!</p>
            </blockquote>





	You can't pick your family...

**Author's Note:**

> Written for selenic76 for the 'Fandom Character Meme' Complete crack, total and utter in fact!  
> Her question: (If 2, 7, 9, and 15 were family, what kind would it be?)

Free at last; no more Wolfram and Hart, no more demons baring down on them with an iron will to exterminate the forces of good. Spike allows a small smirk to curve his usually sneering lips at the memory of Red blasting her way into the fight, all glowing power and humming magic, before completely decimating a legion of Big Bad's.

Spike had automatically searched the stinking detritus at his feet for Buffy's unique scent, not sure whether he wanted to find her sweet tang hanging in the air or not.

~~~~The smoke clears to reveal Willow dusting herself down, blonde Slayer at her side; looking all but redundant; grinning and bumping shoulders with Xander, and Spike's undead heart almost starts again.

"Pay up Xand', told you she wouldn't need us!"

Xander turns to Buffy, digs around in his pockets and pulls out a crumpled five dollar note before begrudgingly handing it over with a snort and a shake of his head, "Man, I don't know why we even bother anymore! Not with Witch-Fu fighting the good fight."

And then all hell literally breaks loose; Angel looses it, goes off his over hanging forehead at the Slayer for allowing Fred to be hollowed out by Illyria. It takes Illyria herself to separate the two and Red's gentle touch and soft voice explaining that Giles never even told them they were needed, to stop his angry sire frothing at the mouth.

Finally the shouting dies down enough for Buffy to notice him scuffing his feet in the corner, avidly avoiding eye contact with the woman he went off and got himself souled for.

Walking slowly towards Spike, Buffy's eyes betray none of the roiling anticipation bubbling away in her belly, "Spike?"

Spike's head comes up, look of raw shame on his face, "I didn't mean to...I never knew it'd bring me back and..."

Buffy reaches out and cups his cheek, feels the natural chill to his flesh, and her body thrills at the long missed contact, "Woah, calm. Breathe, well no, don't breathe but you know what I...Okay, I already heard all about it. Andrew, not much with the secret keeping."

Spike silently curses the little toad before Buffy's scent completely engulfs him as she slides her lips across his, tongue gently seeking entrance.

He can feel Angel's steely gaze over his lover's shoulder, but he's got much more pressing things to attend to and sod the old git if he can't tell when he's lost.~~~~

Spikes stretches languidly against the sheets as the shower kicks into life, "Hey love, leave me a bit of hot water would you."

Buffy's muffled reply reaches him and he grins lasciviously before springing off the bed.

"You want hot water, get your undead butt in here with me!"

~^~

Much, much later, the room's phone rings and Spike automatically raises an eyebrow at Buffy before going back to reading his latest copy of 'Undead-Today'.

Buffy shakes her head and growls before reaching out for the trilling handset, "Would it kill you to answer the phone once in a while, do I look like a secretary!"

Spike chuckles and pats her bare arse as she leans over the edge of the bed, "No, but I could always get you the outfit, think you'd look proper spankable in a neat pair of black rimmed glasses, hair all tied up tight in a bun."

Rolling her eyes and smirking, the blonde cradles the handset against her chin as she tries to locate her lost underwear, "Hello. Yes, wait no. No we didn't...well tell them they can't...oh for fu...fine! Little late now isn't it!"

Spike listens to her side of the conversation and wonders what exactly's got the Slayer all wound up in knots before a sharp rap on the door draws his attention, "You order room service, pet?"

Buffy slams the phone back in it's cradle and spins towards the bathroom, shouting over her shoulder as she snatches up discarded items of clothing, "No. It's my, it's a friend. Let him in would you and don't pay any attention to his...travelling companion."

Spike watches Buffy's bare arse appreciatively before the bathroom door slams and disrupts his view. Throwing on a pair of jeans he hears the door knock again impatiently and slides off the bed, "Hold your horses, no need to get your knickers in a twist!"

Throwing open the door, Spike's met with a sight that will follow him to his second grave; An extremely tall man wearing what can only be described as a Wizard's Hat, complete with bendy point on the end and a rim so wide he can only see a set of grinning lips below it.

Shoving roughly against his shoulder is a guy wearing a ratty baseball cap and beer and pizza stains down his oil drenched t-shirt, grumbling under his breath about, 'Damn stupid relations and their need to poke their hook noses into what don't concern them.'

Spike stands and stares at the pair jostling each other for a minute before clearing his throat.

The bloke in the hat tips his head back far enough for Spike to see his unearthly blue eyes and grins; a toothy smile that almost dazzles the vampire, "Hello there. I assume you are the vampire my great niece has taken up with?"

Throwing out his hand, jabbing a pointy elbow into the other man's ribs at the same time, he grips Spike's hand and pumps it vigorously, "Nice to meet you. Is Buffy here, I have, oh right yes," the shorter, less cordial man, clears his throat loudly before forcing his way into the room, "Sorry, we have some urgent business to attend to with your...your...how would you describe yours and Buffy's relationship exactly?"

Spike shakes his head and goes to grab at the man now eyeing up Buffy's forgotten bra with disdain, "Oi! Get your arse out of...OUCH! Git, no need for..."

The taller man comes sweeping passed Spike and pats him on the shoulder gently, "You'll have to excuse Bobby, he's not exactly a fan of your kind."

"Don't be sayin' sorry for me Gandalf, he's a vampire, I was well within my rights to splash his undead ass with holy water, don't like him laying his chilly mitts on me. BUFFY get your prissy little butt out here now! No use hidin' girl."

The door to the bathroom opens a crack and all eyes spin towards the blonde Slayer now sheepishly sidling towards them, "Hey uncle Bobby, Uncle Gandalf. I see you've met Spike."

Spike bites down on his frustration and the urge to slip into his game face and smirks at his partner's obvious discomfort, "So love, how would you describe our _relationship_?"


End file.
